“How We Love” by Clementine Ford

I’ve twice enjoyed hearing Clementine speak at Word festival events, and this encouraged me to try her book about love. Last September she spoke of how we often see our past selves in negative ways, carrying self-doubt inside. To have a relatable story with depth you have to get to know your inner self, ask them to forgive you, and they will, because all they’ve ever wanted is your love. This book gives us an opportunity to know Clementine’s inner self, although she does tell us that knowing is not necessarily understanding. She also says that to know love is to know more of yourself.

Clementine is honest and open about her life and her fantasies, and gives very clear and deeply personal depictions of the feelings of a teenage girl, a mother, and the woman in between them. I was impressed with how much she remembers in vivid details. She does say: “As a writer I live in a perpetual state of examination and memory.”

Throughout the book I was intrigued by the continual use of texting as communication. This is something I’ve never taken to myself, and I sometimes wonder if I’m missing out. I favour using email – will respond to Facebook messages, but email is always my preference. I recently said to friend who is driving a brand new hybrid car, that I would have trouble coping with such a sophisticated vehicle as I haven’t yet assimilated the smartphone.

Clementine’s openness about her relationships makes for compulsive reading. She writes about her mother’s death, about lovers, about friends, and about motherhood. All of it is absorbing, and skillfully written.

She tells it just the way it is
her frankness makes you go gee-whiz