A self-affirming lesson I learned years ago is that should (and must) can always be transformed into could. Lately I’ve found the shoulds are creeping back into my life, especially in connection with my Te Reo course. For several weeks we’ve been told to look after ourselves and our whanau, and that there are absolutely no expectations of students at present. Yet a tiny voice inside tells me I should/could be working on the online course and I should/could be memorising vocabulary. If it’s could, I have a choice, and right now I choose not to study, and wonder if I ever will again.
The class has had a couple of Zoom sessions, which have been gentle and encouraging, but I find I’m dreading the time (28 April) when classes start again. They will be online for at least six weeks, and the online work doesn’t suit me. I find the system keeps throwing me back to where I’ve been before, and I miss getting feedback about what I’m doing. Recently we’ve been advised to use smartphones to identify new words, and also for taking part in an online quiz. My smartphone doesn’t allow me to download these apps, which makes it harder for me to keep up. I would dearly love to have a textbook that I could work my way through in a classroom situation.
Today we had a message from our tutor asking us to advise her if we are considering withdrawing, and I think the time has come for me to do that. I’m aware I may then find I want more mental stimulation, but I will still have my blog and my poetry. Plus I could spend time working on my genealogy, and I would enjoy doing a jigsaw. I knew when I took this course on that it was supposed to be full time and that so much commitment might be more than I could cope with. The added difficulty of having to stay home in my bubble makes it even more unlikely that I would complete the course, and if I withdraw now I will have freedom for other things.
So, Haere Ra to Te Reo
I may come back one day for more.
Ruth's Reflections 
Shoulda and coulda creep or gallop into the head at times like this. The usual great diversions have been stripped away.
A full-time course is very full on.
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I’m already feeling the relief of fewer obligations. Have sent you an email re a Zoom meeting.
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Good on you. In the words of Marie Kondo, if it doesn’t spark joy, out it goes 😊
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Wise words, Katrina
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Your “I should” may now become “I would like to”. Enjoy your freedom!
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Thank you. I shall – within the confines of my bubble, of course.
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Seems to be a wise decision and not worth beating yourself up for. Enjoy a jig saw sounds good! Blessings Ann
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I have a stock of six jigsaws. Good to do while listening to ‘The Panel’.
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Lots of sensible comments. I agree that the last thing any of us need right now – or anytime really – is extra stress, so do what you feel is right. I was interested to read your comments regarding the course using your phone as a teaching tool. I’ve been working from home and my employer has wanted us to set-up all these apps to help us “connect”. I have issues with my employer assuming it’s ok to use my personal phone for their benefit. As my phone is a 9 year old Nokia pre-pay, I was very happy to tell them that in my case, they would have to come up with something else, and they did. if you do decide to continue with your course, perhaps they would be able to provide you with a textbook or similar that would suit your learning style better. There is ALWAYS an alternative, no matter what they say.
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I’m interested to learn of your experience, Joanne. I’ve now officially withdrawn from the course, so don’t expect any further adjustments. With the online quiz I was able to send my answers via Zoom chat rather than phone, but then they didn’t show up in the automatic tally.
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Apparently a lot of people didn’t want to use their personal phone so we’re now using Microsoft Teams which is similar to Zoom. It’s working well and doing everything we need it to do, so all good.
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My daughter also uses Microsoft Teams and likes it.
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I have been doing online jigsaw puzzles. they record the times of the 5 people who have done them the fastest I usually take 3-4 times as long. i cant believe how fast some people can do jigsaw puzzles.It hasnt been good for my self esteem.
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I used to do the New Yorker ones online, but haven’t looked at them for a long time. I think real jigsaws will be better for me, and I’ll probably start this afternoon. Not sure I’d enjoy the competition of online ones at present.
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